1 thought on “Occupy Occupy-Wall-Street — the 1% strikes back ;)

  1. Robert Consoli

    Dear #HEADSUPYOURBUTT

    To the participants in #OCCUPYWALLSTREET…

    I spit in your faces.

    Big bad protestors. Occupying the smallest square in New York, the way I’ve heard it. An organized kitchen and nursery? Yay! And with your quaint call and response chants! Oy! Tell me. When one policeman’s club goes ‘bonk’ against your skulls do 100 people shout ‘Bonk!’?

    How are you going to achieve your ends? What are your ends, fergawdsake! What are you threatening to do? Cut up the button tree into buttons? You’re pathetic! You think you can bring down the largest and most powerful malefactors in this country with LGBT theater? The big CEOs can barely conceal their laughter long enough to down their scotch without choking. Why is it, do you think, that their response is to send out their cheapest clowns to deal with you? Don’t you know that they are certain (and they are right) that when the cold comes you’ll all go home. They think it because, since you don’t really stand for anything, you will go home.

    If you want to effect change then you have to DEMAND something! These people move billions of dollars every day to various nefarious destinations. Do you think they care because one of you may have belonged to a Union in Wisconsin?

    No.

    They don’t.

    You have to DEMAND something. Just gathering in the street won’t change anything except your arrest status.

    But Bobby, you say, we’re just a bunch of out of work doofuses. We don’t know what to ask for (whine, snivvle). It’s not our fault that we’re stupid; it’s because we’re morally superior.

    I’ll tell you what to ask for.

    You tell the powers that be that you’re not going anywhere until Congress passes and our chicken-shit president signs the following legislation:

    “Resolved that (a) any person or organization who offers any inducement, monetary or otherwise to someone running for Federal office shall be guilty of a Class A felony and subject to a fine of 100 times the amount offered and a prison sentence of at least 5 and no more than 15 years to be served in a Federal penitentiary.

    (b) any person or organization who solicits any monetary or other good for the purpose of conducting a political campaign for Federal office shall be guilty of a Class A felony and subject to a fine of 100 times the amount solicited and a prison sentence of at least 5 and no more than 15 years to be served in a Federal penitentiary.”

    There are a lot more laws like this which should be passed but that will do for a start. The reaction of the Powers that Be will be furious; not just ‘no’ but ‘FUCK NO!’ They’ll try to scare you with fairy tales that only rich men will be able to run for office, that it won’t keep the money out of politics, that the Roberts Court will overturn it, that campaign contributions are something Americans have done for hundreds of years (like slavery), etc. etc.

    Don’t believe them. If #OCCUPYWALLSTREET makes this one issue visible then you will have put a real cockroach into the belly of our occupying capitalist shit class. Because campaign bribes ARE the heart of American corruption; all else follows from it. It is through campaign bribes that corporations have converted a free republic into an aristocracy that would have shamed the ancien regime.

    Oh, and here’s your slogan: ‘IT’S THE BRIBES, STUPID!’

    They’ll put up obstacles because most legislators, as far as I can see, only go into politics to get rich. But let them; let them scream and shout about the unfairness of it all; perhaps the American people through your efforts will finally wonder what Congress and the President are really doing with all those bribes and why the Roberts court is so corrupt.

    It’s not a magic solution (magical thinking is your forte, not mine) but it will affect a very broad range of issues for the better. More than that needs to be done but this will be a great start. I’m sure you have some idiot lawyer among you who can make my proposed language suitable for legislative action.

    You’re welcome.

    #dumbasses.

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