Is Israel a small penis or a limp penis?

Having thought a lot about Israel, I’ll confess I’ve never pictured it as a penis – of any particular size.

But on second thoughts, that’s not actually true. The wars on Lebanon and Gaza did evoke a sense that the Jewish state regards war as a type of Viagra, so I guess if war is Viagra that does indeed make Israel a penis — one that has difficulty maintaining an erection.

With that in mind the new Size Doesn’t Matter campaign aimed at promoting Israel (h/ts to Richard Silverstein and Dimi Reider) could be seen as an effort to convince young North American Jews that Israel is not suffering from erectile dysfunction. A trip to Israel — well that’s like giving or receiving a blow job, though the metaphor gets a little confusing at this point.

What the hell am I talking about?

Watch this video sponsored by the Canadian Council for Israel and Jewish Advocacy:

I have little doubt that when the makers of this video debated its merits, someone said that it would be sure to go viral.

Indeed, I along with many others are now making that happen. But even though “going viral” is supposed to be an online marketing success, it’s worth remembering where the metaphor comes from. In this case, did the promoters of Israel really want an image of their beloved state to spread like a contagious disease?

And one small footnote — the “size doesn’t matter” claim turns out to be a little disingenuous: the map of Israel in the video includes Gaza and the West Bank as part of Greater Israel. Apparently size really does matter.

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  1. The writing reflects only the illusion of the writer. Israel is a small country in midst of a volatile big Islamic war zone.

  2. DE Teodoru says:

    When I first went to Israel, many Diaspora Jews who went along on these Habonim excursions insisted that they were going because they had been told that one can easily “get layed” there. Fact is, most Israeli women are very feminist, devoted mothers and not prone to hop into bed with every American. So, like all Likud low class, low morals and plain dumb cognitive output, this will backfire into serious scandal. But one shouldn’t make much of it. Afterall, what can you expect from criminally insane Likudniks devoid of dignity?

    Still, those maniacs are NOT representative of Israel, I assure you.

  3. Everything on this blog is about Israel from an outsider’s perspective, so what do you expect to get? Stupid and disturbing videos such as this one. Anyone who has ever been to Israel knows that it is nothing like how it is portrayed in the world.

  4. sandra budak says:

    Spare me the imagry..
    going viral=virus=aids=aides= regev…
    not sure why that popped into my mind….
    word association i guess…..
    This is not the first time htey have sold israel ( the holy land) as the sex hot spot of the world
    and it wont be the last…..

  5. DE Teodoru says:

    HADAR does not understand that we all know quite well that Israel is a lot more and could still be much, much more. What we decry is the assumption that the benefactors without which Israel could never survive are seen as “dumb goyim” and “dumb Jewish boys” horny to get layed with Israeli hot chicks. Alas, many of us see that commercial as male dysfunction complex expressed as derision directed at those who make that little thing possible. Respect is given when received. Israelis NEVER seem to understand that, thinking they can spit dumb hasbara on everyone and then throw “Holocaust victim” like sand into our eyes.

  6. Using 3 to represent the letter aiyin with its ancient velar G/K-sound, as in 3aZa = Gaza, Cana3an was a cunnus (in Latin), a reversal of Greek gyneco-, and a reversal of Hebrew 3oNeG = pleasure, that body part that gives pleasure to women. 3aZa is a reversal of the sounds in ZooG = couple, as in Latin copulation.

    Israel was always a male member. Using @ to represent the letter aleph, it is spelled YiSRa-@eL, the part that gives @oSheR = delight to @eL = god when it is YaShaR = straight, upright.

    I learned about anthropomorphic maps from the linguist Dan Moonhawk Alford (deceased) and the anthropologist Stan Knowlton. They described the maps of Napi, the creator of the Blackfoot Indians (aka The Old Man) and his wife (The Old Woman) in Alberta, Canada. You can see a sketch of Napi and his wife at

    I “found” similar Phoenician maps of a male body (kHermes) in west Asia and a female body (Aphrodite = Afro-deity) in north Africa.

    Anthropomorphic Maps

    Anthropomorphic maps were generated by configuring the body of a god or goddess over the area to be mapped. The name of each part of that body became the name of the area under that part. This produced a scale 1:1 map-without-paper on which each place name automatically indicated its approximate location and direction with respect to every other place on the same map whose name was produced in this way.

    Attributes of Anthropomorphic Maps

    (1) The navel is the center of the body, the center of the map, and usually the center of the map’s language community.

    (2) Place names (toponyms) may be reversed, metathesized, misspelled or euphemized for various reasons:
    (a) The same part in the same language exists on another map of a different body. Cranium > Mo[n]rocco because Ukraine existed? Aphrodite is looking backwards over her right shoulder. She is bent at her waist (Misr/Mitzraim = MoSNaiM).
    (b) The left (sinister) part is altered in names for left-right pairs: arms, legs, eyes, ears). DoFeN = side reversed to Nafud in north Arabia. SHvK = thigh with a T-sound for the letter shin = TvK reversed to Kuwait. BeReKH = knee metathesized to Bahrain.
    (c) Names that represent taboo body parts or functions are reversed or euphemized:
    Semitic PoS (female pudenda) reverses to yam SooF = sea of reeds (Red Sea).
    Mare Rubrum (Latin for Red Sea) represented Aphrodite’s menstruation
    CaNa3an (3 = aiyin with a G-sound as in 3aZa = Gaza) is a reversal of Greek gyneco-.
    Gaza (3aZa) is a reversal of the sounds in ZooG = couple, as in copulation
    NeGeV (compare NaKeV = slit, aperture, hole, perforation and N’KeiVaH = female) reverses to vagina
    Sinai = “snatch” is spelled SiNi in Hebrew. The aleph=CHS is intentionally missing.
    ZaYiN = weapon (a euphemism for male member) is in Sinai as the desert of Zin.

    (3) Names may be loan-translated due to conquest or language-change.
    (a) Roxolania (Semitic Ro[chs]SH = head) => Rus *( Ro@SH) => Ukraine (Greek kranion)
    * Caused by a change in the sound of the aleph from CHS to a glottal stop.
    (b) Libya (Semitic LeB = heart) => Cyrenaica (Latin cor = heart, cf. coronary) => Libya

    (4) Rivers and bodies of water may be named after bodily excretions:
    (a) Milk River in Alberta.
    (b) Red Sea (Latin Mare Rubrum) is Aphrodite’s menstruation.
    (c) Gulf of Aqaba (Semitic QaVaH = digestion/defecation)
    (d) Indus River (Semitic NiDaH = menstruation)

    (5) Internal body parts may represent subdivisions of external parts.
    (a) Arabic Misr / Hebrew Mitzraim (< TSaR = narrow) = waist (Hebrew MoSNaim). Egypt (< Greek hepato- = liver). Goshen (with a T-sound shin Latin Gossypium (cf English gossamer = cotton+sea foam)
    (b) Atlas mountains < atlas = first cervical vertebra that supports the cranium.

    (6) Islands near a body's hands may be named for weapons.
    (a) Trinacria = trident ( Sicily (< VL *sicila < Latin secula = sickle to harvest wheat; compare Semitic SaKiN = knife). The trident was in Neptune / Poseidon's right hand (Italy, like Anatolia < N'TiLas yad = arm being washed by the seas).
    (b) Greece = reversal of Semitic S'RoG = (weighted) net, held in his left hand.
    (c) Crete = reversal of targe = small shield (compare English target) also in his left hand.


    The map of Aphrodite is in north Africa. Her face [PaNim] was lost during the 3rd Punic war. The rest of her is still there. She is looking backwards over her right shoulder, so her CRaniuM is reversed at Morocco. It still has a Fez. Her chin [SaNTir] is reversed at Tunisia. The Atlas (anatomy: first cervical vertebra) mountains support her head. Her hair [Sa3aRa] is the Sahara desert. Her backbone [amood SHiDRa] is the Gulf of Sidra. Her heart [LeB] is Libya. Her breast [SHaD] is Chad. Her narrow [TZaR] waist is Misr / Mitzraim. Her liver (Greek hepato-) is Egypt. Cotton (Arabic QuTN, Latin Gossypium) was exported from Goshen, her [QiTNit = bean]-shaped kidney. Her side [TZaD] is Sudan. Her other side [DoFeN] is Dafur. Her left [SMoL] leg is Somalia.

    [NeGeV] is a reversal of vagina and may be related to [NeKeV] = aperture. [CaNa3aN] was her Latin cunnus (and a reversal of Greek gyneco-). Its name changed to [YiSRa@eL] at the time when [Ya3aKoV] / Jacob "fought with god and men" [Gen 32:29]. This represented a change in sovereignty from Africa to Asia minor. [ YiSRa@eL] is that body part that gives [@oSHeR] = delight to [@eL] = god when it is [YaSHaR] = straight, upright. Changing Jacob's name from [Ya3aKoV] = "ankle; curved, bent" to [YiSRa@eL] = "straight, upright + god" represents an interesting physiological process.


    The body-part map of Hermes is in Asia minor. kHermes [kHoR = hole + MoSnaim = waist] lived at Mt. kHermon before he moved Mt. Olympus (Greek omphalos = navel). Later his name was reversed to become Latin Mercury. Compare Amerigo Vespucci and America.

    His head [Ro@SH] was at Roxolania/Rus, south of Belarus. Its name changed to the Ukraine (Gk kranion = cranium, not Slavic u kraina = to/at the border). His throat [GaRGeret] is Georgia. His left shoulder [KaSaF] is the Caspian sea. His right shoulder [@aTZiL] was Euxinus, now the Black Sea. His right arm/hand is being washed [NaTiLat] at Anatolia. His upper arm (Sanskrit irma) at Armenia, biceps (Greek pontiki = muscle) at Pontus, elbow [KiFooF yaD] at Cappadocia, wrist [m'FaReK] at Phrygia, and thumb [BoHeN] at Bithynia were in Anatolia. His heart (Greek cardia) became Kurdistan. His narrow [TZaR] waist is Syria and his navel (Sanskrit nabhila) reverses to LeBaNon.

    South of Lebanon is the male member (Greek phallus) named Philistia. See [CaNa3aN / YiSRa@eL] above. His buttocks [YeReKH] is Iraq. His thigh [shin-vav-kuf] sounded like TvK and reversed to Kuwait. His knee [BeReKH] is partially reversed in Bahrain. His right [Y'MiN] foot is at Yemen.

    These two bodies are connected, literally, at Sinai (with an aleph that is not written in Hebrew, compare "snatch", a reversal of [K'NiSah] = entrance), a part of her body that contains the desert of Zin, his "zaiyin".

    Best regards,
    Israel "izzy" Cohen

  7. DE Teodoru says:

    Thank you so much Mr. Cohen for releasing the raging tension. Reading your article escaped me from my sense of doom. But then my despair is particularly over the brilliant flight of intellect your post provides, taken too seriously as cover for animalistic predation. Those who only see the texture of gold and blood– the predatory cannibals of today’s politics and military– are imposing on us a law of the jungle. Dealing with HAMAS, it took no time, many years ago, for me to realize how many were using Shin Bet for inter-Palestinian purges as well as intra-HAMAS elimination of others. Kumar, in his exquisite studies of baboon colonies– describes how a 5th ranking male plots violent misunderstandings between others to get them to kill each other, thus rising in rank. Through the Mideast, Israel included, we see this larcenous tendency rendered explosive with inculcation of psychotic notions such as Takfir or Holocaust to make two closely related peoples genetically marvelously endowed with neocortex totally victims of their hyperactive reptilian palleocortex. Izzy, you did good in pointing to what happens when we forget what happens if flights of fancy are rendered into critical life &death symbols. You’re my kind of Jew. Thank you.

  8. DE Teodoru may be reading a bit too much into my “flight of fancy”.

    I only wanted to point out that PLS (as in Greek phallus) represents the male member and YSR (as in Hebrew YaSHaR = straight, upright) is a euphemism for the same erect member. So there is a psycholinguistic aspect to this conflict and the threatened loss of this member does cause castration anxiety (presumably at a subconscious level).

    The obvious fact that these toponyms were derived from body part names means that these names represented geographic areas before they represented peoples who lived in these areas. That is, the peoples were named after the land and not vice-versa.

    Ciao (probably cognate with tzadi-aleph = to exit),

  9. No Mr. Cohen, I didn’t read too much in your enjoyable comment. I only read the wonderful sense of humor and confidence in the fact that you are amongst people who may be worried about certain issues but could still appreciate your linguistic cuteness as welcome release from heavy issues. This is the kind of philologic game the friends of my youth used to sit in coffee houses and play all day. I appreciate that you don’t read those who criticize Israel’s actions as motivated by anti-Semitism as some are prone to do thus enabling us all to much enjoy your erudite comment.